How to improve your self confidence in a relationship

In a relationship self-confidence is very important. Although you have become a couple, you still need to have your own sense of self, your own thoughts and opinions, and confidence to stand alone should you ever need or want to. A lack of confidence in you can actually ruin a relationship, because other people will expect to give and receive freely, and that takes self-confidence.

To improve your self-confidence in a relationship you first need to isolate the self-defeating chatter that goes on in your head. We all have this chatter, even the most self-confident people do. Our confidence in ourselves wavers from moment to moment depending on our interactions with family, friends, co-workers, and our overall success. Some days we may feel more self-confident than others, and this is normal. What is not normal is to continually feel badly about you.

Listen as you go about your day and really think about what you tell yourself about your inability to please your mate, or your lack of communication skills in your relationship, or whatever it may be. When you find these phrases, and you will, counter them with something you know proves the negative phrase wrong. Even if there is only one instance, have your rebuttal ready. Sooner or later, you’ll start you’ll start to believe all the good things are true! And, they are. Your mate will really appreciate the renewed sense of self.

Once you’ve begun to defy the negative commentary you really need to nurture yourself. Celebrate your up and coming confidence, you ability to love, communicate, and give to the person you love. Self-nurturing is important, so indulge in something you like to do and push yourself to do better, reach higher, and be more confident in all ways. Nurturing yourself will help you feel like you have the right to be in a good relationship, to be treated well, and to be appreciated for treating others well.

Don’t fall into old routines. Once you let your guard down, those old negative comments will come flooding back in. Always stand ready to defeat that commentary with a good thought. Self-confidence is important and your attempts at bettering yourself shouldn’t fall to the side. It takes self-confidence to ask for what you want in a relationship and you don’t want to get to the point where you can’t get what you want because you’re afraid to ask. You don’t want to be stuck in a dead end relationship because you don’t have the confidence.

You deserve a kind, loving, beautiful relationship. Self-confidence is key to a wonderful relationship. It’s the bottom line for believing you deserve to be in such a relationship, and then taking the appropriate steps to make it happen. No one deserves to be unhappy, and if you’re suffering from low self-esteem, it’s in your hands. Talk yourself out of that troubled relationship! It really is as easy as that!

As your self-confidence improves you will actually learn to ask for what you want, and that will make you, and your mate or potential love interest much happier in the long run! Go out there and get what you’ve been dreaming of!

Safety Tips for Women

Make smart choices and use your common sense. Don't be paranoid, but be aware that bad things do happen, and protect yourself.

Trust your instincts. They are well-honed from living in the USA. If you feel something is off, wrong, strange - get out, move on, flee, scream, whatever is appropriate. Do it quickly.

Body language: keep your head up, swing your arms and act confident. Adopt a no nonsense attitude. Walk with purpose and you'll be less of a target for hustlers who prey on disoriented or timid tourists.

Most of the people who offer you food or drink are just being kind. However, the rare exception exists - drugging occasionally happens. Try not to leave your drink unattended in bars, and exercise good judgment when accepting food or drink from people. Rophynol, the date rape drug, is odorless, tasteless and colorless. It is a tranquilizer that can be slipped into your drink by a man who would like to have sex with a woman who is heavily sedated. If you are at a party, don't accept a glass of punch unless you trust the host. Don't think this won't happen to you. Some women don't even know they have been raped until it's too late.

If you are being followed in the street and you feel threatened, duck into a shop and firmly tell the clerk: "I am a foreigner and someone is following me. I am frightened and need help." If need be, have the clerk call a cab or police officer for you.

Try to sit or stand next to other women or family groups in restaurants, on trains or buses, and in other public places. It is unlikely that you will be approached or harassed if you're in the company of other people.

Consider wearing a wedding ring, if you don't already.

There is power in vocal embarrassment. I have found that many men are shamed by a verbal, loud woman admonishing them in public. Practice screaming before you leave home! Also shame them by shaking your finger in their faces. Even if the crowd doesn't understand your words, they will understand your indignation and gestures. Most sleazy men do not want public attention.

Ask for help or company if you feel uncomfortable.

It is common for a would-be thief to use razor blades to cut purse straps, take the purse, and then get away in a thick sea of bodies. Wear a money belt to avoid this happening.

It can be difficult to know what is considered offensive or suggestive in segregated societies, such as in Orthodox Muslim areas. At times you may feel uncomfortable or vulnerable. You may not know if the local men view you as a sex symbol representing the immoral Western World. Take your cues from the local women. Watch them. If they don't make eye-to-eye contact with men, follow their example. Blend in. Dress appropriately.

Clothing that is fashionable and appropriate in the USA may project a provocative image in another culture. Leave the revealing clothing at home.

Anticipate potential problems. For example: if a group of men or young boys approaches you on the sidewalk on your side of the street, cross to the other side to give them space and you peace of mind.

Be sure to know when the sun rises and sets. A bustling market can quickly empty out and be transformed into dark deserted streets. Plan to be back to your lodging or in a safe, busy neighborhood by dark.

Carry enough money in your shoe or money pouch to get you out of a tight spot. Be willing to spend this money on a cab in order to get you to a safe place or back to your lodging. Do not take unnecessary risks.

If in doubt, take a self defense course.

All rights reserved. © Marybeth Bond

Financial Tips For Women

Whether it is a result of nurture, nature, or some combination of both, the fact remains that women and men do think and behave differently in many aspects of life, including those related to money and finance. When it comes to money matters, women have financial circumstances and needs that differ from those of men. For women, then, skilled money management includes taking such factors into account when making choices for today and when making plans for the future.
Fundamental Differences

While there can be many subtle differences in the ways that women and men approach financial matters, there are a couple fundamental differences that seem to affect all others. Awareness of these potential differences and how they may affect financial decisions and practices can help improve money choices.

Jay MacDonald of Bankrate.com points out that women and men are socialized differently from birth, and that that socialization carries over to the way each views and uses money. In his interesting article, he discusses how those different patterns of socialization affect spending and saving practices. In the past, women were brought up with a vision of their future that was more focused on being a wife and mother. Thus, their financial skill sets tended to place more emphasis on developing domestic economy skills rather than the types of financial planning skills necessary to live independently over the long-term and provide themselves with a fiscally secure future.

While those differences are not as severe today as they were then, MacDonald correctly states that “our socialization, a trained behavior, is primarily modeled after our same-sex parent.” That means that the residual effects of the socialization of our parents lingers on and can affect how we view and use our money today.

Another fundamental difference is that women tend to make less money than men. This is due to a variety of factors, including workplace inequities that have yet to be resolved by the equal rights movement. The course of a woman’s life is also an important factor in why women tend to make less money. Women are more likely to take time out of the workforce to bear and rear children. This not only affects the immediate salary, but career advancement and retirement benefits.
Different Financial Needs

Women, as a statistical group, have different financial needs than men do. Women, on average, live longer than men do. Therefore, it is essential that women plan financially for their elder years, as the odds are that they will outlive their spouse or partner. The number of widows living in poverty is astounding, but smart, forward-looking financial planning can help to avoid this.

Another significant difference in financial needs has to do with the rearing of children. With the rate of divorce being what it is, many mothers find themselves raising their children on their own. After divorce, it is still the woman that typically experiences a decline in lifestyle and a decrease in financial stability.

Women raising children alone make up a huge percentage of the nation’s poor. Even with child support payments from fathers – something a large number of women do not have the benefit of – the real life, day-to-day expenses involved in rearing children can be overwhelming. For women, particularly mothers, financial planning should take into account this potential. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and if the marriage survives and single parenthood doesn’t happen, then there’s a tidy little nest egg for college, retirement, or a celebration of making it through the good times and the bad times successfully and together.
Financial Tips For Women

• Those are just a few of the issues that can make women’s financial planning needs differ from those of men. Here are some tips that take those differences into account:

• Take the steps to become educated about money and finance in both the broad sense and within your personal life. Be an informed and active part of your family’s finances and fiscal decisions.

• Invest in yourself. Too often, women don’t make real investments – buy a house, start retirement accounts, engage in serious financial planning and investing – during their 20’s and 30’s or while they are single.

• Question your spending motives. Don’t fall prey to emotional spending, to using shopping as a means of feeling better when experiencing a period of stress or of feeling down, or something more serious, such as depression. If there is an underlying issue, address it. You and your bank account will be better off.

• Budget like you really mean it.

• Recognize that the odds are that, as a woman, your overall earnings are likely to be less. Increase the percentage of your income that you save to offset that difference.

• Prepare for potentials that are unpleasant to consider, such as marital breakup and single parenthood. Do your best to have separate, private just in case savings.

• As a woman, you are likely to live longer than your spouse or partner. Be sure that your retirement planning reflects that likelihood.

By Sharon Secor,
LendersMark.org Staff Writer

Making a man Fall in Love with You

it's not often that we come face-to-face with the man of our dreams. If you meet a man that you instantly click with it's easy to let your imagination take the lead.

As women, we dream about finding the perfect mate and when we think we have, we'll do almost anything to ensure he feels the same way. Making a man fall in love with you is really a mixture of many different things.

There obviously needs to be mutual attraction and timing plays an important role too. There are specific things you can do though that can help guide him in the direction of falling in love with you.

No two men are alike but many men find certain qualities in a woman attractive. It's not impossible to make yourself irresistible to virtually any man if you understand what men find appealing.

Making a man fall in love with you should begin with presenting yourself in the best possible light. This includes your appearance. This certainly doesn't mean that you need to lose weight or have any nips or tucks done. It does mean you need to accentuate what you have. This means dressing appropriately for your body shape and for your age.

It also means taking a little time to style your hair and apply some make up. If you show the man you adore that you value yourself, he's bound to value you more as well.

This holds true when it comes to your individual pursuits as well. If you are passionate about your career or furthering your education you are going to be more attractive to the opposite sex.

Making a man fall in love with you includes showing him that you are someone worth loving. Men love women who have their own interests and who aren't willing to compromise those things just because a man enters the picture.

The man in your life should feel as though you are making room for him, not replacing your life for his. Never give up the things you love just because you fall in love with a man. If you do this you'll eventually become boring to him. Stay focused on your own goals and the things you enjoy.

You should also be willing to compromise if you are trying to make a man fall in love with you. Even though you may have your heart set on a dinner out, he may decide he wants to go see a game. Men love women who are flexible and spontaneous.

Never try and steal him away from his friends or guilt him into choosing you over them. If you are supportive of the other people in his life, he'll be incredibly attracted to how giving and understanding you are. Show him that you love every part of him and he'll do the same in return to you.

Homeschooling Ideas

Your child’s education is an important part of his development and will have an impact on the rest of his life, so why not put some thought into what you will teach him? Here’s five ideas that might help you get started: 1) Get your child interested in a hobby - One of the best ways for children to learn is through something he or she is interested in. Teach them about stamp or coin collection. What better way to learn about the world? 2) Teach them a foreign language - There’s no better time for a child to learn about a foreign language than when he is young. It is the easiest time for him to learn spanish or just brush up on his english skills. 3) Teach him to surf the web - Luckily, this is 2008 and the world wide web has a vast amount of information! Whether your child wants to be a flight attendant or just want to learn breakdancing, give him the resources to indulge his interests!

Homeschooling For kids

Whenever the topic of family education faces, a question is raised to be sure - that of socialization. While even the most cynical skeptics can’t deny that there are several advantages of home schooling (such as children at home have better results in all areas than their public school or private) They seem to dwell on the social aspects of family education, standing by the mistaken belief that home schooling stifles a child’s ability to socialize.

It’s actually easy to see things from their point of view and to understand why they came to such hasty conclusions. The style of home schooling implies a lower teacher-student ratio (an aspect many regard as one of the best advantages of home schooling), which means that a home-schooler has more interaction with children his or her age compared to a child who goes to school, where the interaction is virtually inevitable in a classroom.

But while skeptics argue that keeping children away from a predominantly social setting stunt their socialization, the public school supporters insist that confining children to the school will allow them to better develop their social skills. In fact, these adherents believe that improving the socialization is yet another advantage of home schooling, even though it is often overlooked.

How is this so? To begin with, home-schooled children have their parents as their main influence, and not a peer group that could childhood (and probably more) distorts their values and perspectives, significantly delaying their willingness to confront the real world. Children from the school may allow more time to interact with their peers, but to confine socialization within a certain age group (and not very mature as that in).

The style of home schooling, on the other hand, gives children the chance to be influenced by people who know what they are like in the real world and whose priorities are passing on a good set of values, as opposed to Impose misconceptions of what’s “cool” and what’s not. What’s more, these kids get to interact with people of different ages, simply by staying in their parents’ protective wing, teaching them to socialize outside of their age group and allow for a broader, more mature point of view.

And indeed, to be educated at home doesn’t mean that a child can interact with his peers at all. There’s a lot of time to do that when the school and most of the day lessons were made. Concerns naturally come to the socialization of those who have never had any experience of home schooling to begin with. But those who are lucky enough to have dared to try knowing that socialization isn’t a problem have come to the realization that home schooling is just as effective social as the surrounding public and private schools.